Although he is one of my closest friends, I took some time to tell my Favorite Man Friend about the disintegration of my marriage. A former classmate that for years has been one of the first people I turn to for career advice, I realized after this conversation that he would also be my go-to-guy for suggestions on coping with and understanding my soon to be single life.

Our initial conversation of the collapse of my marriage commenced as follows:

Me: So I probably should set some time aside to fill you in on what has been going on in my life.

FMF: Sounds deep. Should I brace myself?

Me: I left my husband over a month ago, after uncovering yet another lie.

FMF: Must have been a big one?

Me: This one definitely trumps the others.

FMF: Bracing myself.

Me: He never graduated from college. Stole my diploma, scratched off my name and had it reprinted with his information. Saying it out loud makes it sound like a bad made-for-T.V. movie, but it’s real. It’s my life.

FMF: Why?

Me: Why what? Why did he do it?

FMF: Si?

Me: Beyond the fact that he apparently lacks a sense of morality and ethics, years ago I told him I wasn’t interested in marrying someone who didn’t want to and or wasn’t willing to finish undergrad. So he faked it and created a means of having his cake and eating it too.  

FMF: Now even worse than the college, are the years of lies…

Me: Yep. So I got that going for me, which is nice. I suppose you should welcome me to single life.

FMF: So are you ok?

Me: Most days.

FMF:  Well, better now than after your stock options vest. All joking aside…that sucks. You have made up your mind for sure then? Knowing you, you have probably analyzed ever angle of this 6 ways from Sunday.

Me: Every second of every minute since I left. I am definitely still a work in progress, but since he committed fraud on multiple occasions am looking to have our marriage annulled.

FMF: Wow.

Me: So technically I will be an annulee, not a divorcee.

FMF: You are clever woman. Note to self: don’t fuck with clever women. Want to know the bright side?

Me: I love bright sides.

FMF: In every relationship there is a ‘Reacher’ and a ‘Settler.’ In this relationship you have been the Settler, but the good news is that you now have the opportunity to become the Reacher.

Me: Explain?

FMF: Reacher: someone who is dating out of his or her league. Settler: one who could do better but settles for his or her current partner. I suppose you should know there is a 3rd classification…but it’s rare.

Me: And what is #3.

FMF: The Coconspirator, an elusive and extremely rare breed whose goals and ambition are only rivaled by those of another of the same class. With the Coconspirator to conquer is to love and to love is to conquer.

Me: Sounds dangerous.

FMF: It is extremely dangerous, but only to those who are considered to be obstacles in the pair’s path. Ultimately it comes down to this… some lead, some follow, some conquer.